C'est la Vie
by Echante
Summary: Let me tell you a story. JR... btw. haha
1. I'm Not the One in This Love Song

**C'est La Vie: That's Life**

"Let me tell you a story." The man had beckoned, and not seeing anyone else around, I'd acted on the assumption that he was talking to me. But he wasn't. He was just talking around me, unaware of reality, but left dazed by his life. Yet seeing as I was about to close the bar, and the ladies giggling in the corner, although full of pretension, were ignoring my efforts to cater to them, I decided to listen to his drunken rambling, and here's the story he told:

"I knew a girl, with just a smile, she could charm the world."

* * *

"It was in high school that I fell in love with her. But in high school politics I was inanimate, so I remained unnoticed in her eyes. She was a heartbreaker, and I spent my time running from jocks so… I had no chance then. I moved on, I thrust her behind me, and I got married. Her name was Carol and she was… beautiful. But she could never match up to… to her. We divorced a few years later because she… well, she's married to another woman now. That's when she… you know, HER, she came walking back into my life, in a wedding dress, soaking wet from the rain. And two years later we went out. And a year after that we broke-up. Let me tell you something about regret: it's a bitch. Pride is a terrible thing. Because that's how I lost her, and I don't think I'll ever get her back…"


	2. My Love For You is Blind

**2002, 6 years earlier:**

He kissed her finger-tips softly before looking up at her with sorrow in his eyes, but she couldn't bear that emotion, so she turned to fake interest in a strand of her hair. It was him that spoke first, "Rach… Why are you doing this?"

"I told you."

"But I…"

She raised her finger to his lips to silence him, callously saying, "Don't say it."

He turned away, hurt etched on his features and she watched as his heart slowly broke. She stood to go hug him, but she was stopped by his cruel, "Rach, maybe you should leave, you know, start the healing process."

It was at this that she crumbled, and she broke down saying, "Joey. I love…"

He hushed her and his face fell at the realization of the harshness of his words. And then walked over to her to comfort her saying, "Don't say it… I'll come back for you, and then we can shout it from the roof-tops."

She favored him with a watery smile and said, "Do you really believe that?"

"Yeah… Yeah, because love is enough, it has to be enough."

"Joey. I love my daughter, there's love there too."

"Yeah. You can have both. And I swear to God you'll have me."

"No. That's not what I want." She said, turning away from him once again, and then turning back, she brought her fingers to his lips and traced their shape saying, "I want to see these lips smile," she brought her hand to his eyes saying, "I don't want anymore sorrow in these eyes." She allowed her hands to wander into his hair saying, "I don't ever want there to be a reason for these hairs to turn grey." And she concluded, "So you have to move on Joe. You have to move on for me. It'll take years before I can escape him. Move on."

"My lips smile when I see you."

"But they frown in fear at the thought of me."

"Just at the thought of losing you."

Her eyes began to fill with water, the floodgates began to open, "Joey. I can't…"

"No. I understand. You have to… do whatever you need to keep your daughter."

"But… I don't want to… I can't lose you. I can't… No damn it. That's not what I want! Geez Joey. I want to make you happy. I want you to be happy, and if that means that someone else…"

"There can be no one else."

"Keep your heart open and the choices will surprise you."

"I don't have my heart anymore."

"What?"

"I gave it to you."

She half smiled and pretended to tear out hers handing it to him, "And now you have mine."

He smiled, and then turned solemn, "Don't worry about me. Go work it out with Ross, make sure your daughter is yours because… That's what's most important."

"Kay." She whispered, and broke the bond between their hands, and walked out of his life.

* * *

A half-hour later, she'd returned to her old apartment to retrieve a few things to find all of Joey's things gone and a note left for her on the counter. Shell-shocked, she mechanically picked up his letter and read it to herself, it read:

Dear Rachel,

In the years to come I hope you'll forget this letter, and forget about me altogether, but for now, I'm writing to assure you. I don't want to be the man who broke up a family. So I'm going to move on, just like you asked and I want you to go to Ross, and remember how you used to love him, and try to love again. Take our slice of heaven and treasure it as passed, and create your own heaven with your family. I'm gone. I'm the past honey, and I want to spare you the heart-break of saying good-bye, and spare you the temptation of reaching me, so I won't tell you where I've gone. I hope someday, I'll be able to see you again, and be able to be your friend. I hope, someday, that Ross will be able to trust us together even if only as friends. I told you that love is enough, and it is, it is enough for me to move on for your happiness. I have many hopes, and the first, and foremost is that you'll be happy. So go. Goodbye Rachel.

All My Love,

Joey

Her jaw clenched with determination, if he could move on, she could at least pretend to. So she would; even if it killed her.

* * *

He sat by himself, in a plane that had barely met the minimum amount of required passengers. He had to write it, because if he'd dared to attempt saying those words to her face, he was sure he'd have broken, and begged. That's how he knew that leaving was the only option. He smiled wryly to himself, 'Joey, karma's on your side. It took away the most important thing you ever had; maybe the fates will smile on you.' He slowly righted his tray and returned his seat to the upright position as the captain was saying, "Welcome to L.A. I hope you like heat."


	3. No Such Thing

Exintaris: Okay. Let me try to explain this to you. Clive Owen once said that a character in conflict is more interesting then a character not in conflict. That's what makes this couple more interesting to write, because it is all set up perfectly for just that. Ross and Rachel to me, was brilliant of the writers in the beginning, but it ended after they broke up, twice! I respect their decision to put them together in the end; there is a sense of history there, and a sense of destiny, and with the spin-off, putting Rachel and Joey together would have been just cruel to the writers of _Joey_. Yet in the time they(JR) were together on the show, they laughed, and had fun, and were best friends. That is the appeal, ironically, of the couple I think. Correct me if I'm wrong.

* * *

**One Year Later:**

She lit another cigarette, and inhaled to draw the poison into her body. Then she laughed as she spat the residue into the air. Following the death of Ralph Lauren, executives were thrown into frenzy in search for a new face for the brand. Needless to say, they hadn't needed to look far, they found her within their own confines and soon she was their cover model, sexy and classy where Ralph had been experienced and distinguished. She'd become a celebrity in her own right, and that combined with her loveless marriage had hardened her. What had once been a woman full of happiness and joyful carelessness was replaced with a woman stocked up on cynicism and well manufactured charm, that was as fake as it was convincing.

At age 30, (I changed their ages around a bit sorry…) she still looked 20, and she had a brain that was whip smart when it came to fashion. Expertise in any other matter held no weight in her world, so why pursue it? But fame wasn't what she'd been searching for, in fact, what she'd wanted was long buried in her heart, because it's time had passed and she didn't like to dwell on the memory. She was married, and he was happy with someone else according to the tabloids that stalked his career. In the past year he'd cemented himself in Hollywood's B-list, bordering stardom, through his supporting roles in two romantic comedies, and his high-profile romance with Hollywood starlet, Dani Hale (haha stole this name out of Jules Asner's book). At age 32 he'd finally achieved relative success in his life goal, so obviously he was happy. She could pretend to be.

She took a final breath as she heard her name announced and she walked forward, throwing her cigarette to the ground and strangling the tiny flame with her heels. What awaited her was a room, filled to the brim with reporters waiting to judge her and her company. She calmly maneuvered hey way to her microphone, and continued to lead the press through the entire fall line. Eventually one cheeky reporter had the nerve to ask, "Is it true that you have absolutely no power in Ralph Lauren, and you exist solely for to be their Barbie doll?"

She stared at the challenger for awhile before smiling slightly and lighting another cigarette. She took her sweet time although she knew the entire room awaited her answer. Finally she spoke saying, "You could say that… If you were an idiot." And the board of directors breathed a sigh of relief as she continued, "First of all, my existence has nothing to do with Ralph Lauren, it's just a blessing in my path, and second, I'm not a Barbie Doll honey, I have power, you see right here? My answer could make or break Ralph Lauren, and whatever I present, can save or damage their image. I have power." She watched with a satisfied smile as the reporter sat down humiliated and Ralph Lauren executives sat tense, but trusting in her. She was too good at her job for them to fire her; she could pull shit like that and still have job security. And it was those stunts that made her feel alive, because not much else was. She continued that conference, being brilliant as if to flaunt her skill, making them laugh at exactly the right places, and making them think, where they'd previously thought that fashion was merely a show, not stimulation. And then she smiled, stood up, and left.

As she was speed walking away from the people, away from the noise, away from the job she hated as well as embraced, she was aware of feet following her, and she turned to be crashed into by her assistant, the cell phone he bore fell to the ground. Concerned she asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He replied, dutifully and then continued, "Your husband called, he wants to speak to you."

"About what?"

"He didn't say."

"Okay, where's my phone?"

"Um…" he said looking around before reaching down to pick it up and hold it to her ear.

"Thank you." She said, and then watched him walk away before she spoke into the phone, "Hello?"

"Hey honey."

"Hi, sweetie what's up?" she said, a little frustrated and rushed, not because she had anywhere to go, but because talking to him distressed her.

"Um. What was that crash I heard?"

"Oh. Kevin dropped my cell."

"Oh. Right. Anyways, I was thinking, Emma's at my parent's for tonight, we should do something."

"As in a date?" She said, biting her lips.

"Yeah."

"Well. I don't know honey, I have a busy day tomorrow…"

"You know what? Every day for you is a busy day! I feel like you never have time for me anymore."

"We are not having this conversation again."

"Why? You can't deal with this? We are in a marriage, since when does work come first?"

"Honey. You know I love this job."

"Yeah. Maybe a little too much." He said, hanging up. She sighed and flipped her phone closed and then got into her car.

* * *

He could feel the red beneath his feet, as he walked down yet another path littered with flashes and screams of his name and of others'. This was the part he hated: the part where he had to be charming and funny when in reality he wasn't. Not when he was called to be, he could only charm his friends unintentionally. But his friends were gone on the other side of the world, and the love of his life, there with them. Feeling guilty, he wrapped his arms tighter around his girlfriend's waist, and kissed the side of her head, then turned to grin into the cameras. His life was so fucked up, Rachel's smiling face was plastered all over; after all, she was Ralph Lauren's favorite model and their spokesperson. Everywhere he went there were constant reminders of the life he was forced to leave behind. And it hurt, terribly.

Later that night, after the premiere, after the terrible interviews, after having to watch his horrible movie role, he would go home, and watch the Ralph Lauren press conference just to be able to hear her talk again. Dani of course, would watch it with him, and when she asked why he was so attached to it, he would say, well that girl, she was one of my best friends. And Dani would reply, "Oh. She's beautiful." And he of course would dutifully respond, "Of course she is."

That was how he'd found out that she was coming to L.A. Well particularly to supervise the opening of their newest store on Rodeo Drive. But for a whole two weeks, she was going to be in the town where he lived, working right next to where he took his lunches, where his business meetings were held… He didn't know whether to be excited or scared as hell.

When came the time for her to come, he found himself unconsciously driving past the store in search of her face. He would force his potential employers to take walks with him just so he could pass her store, and each time it was worth it to see her face for a split second live, even though she never saw him. Dani kept pressuring him to go talk to her, she didn't understand that it would hurt him, she simply thought he was being nasty. So finally he did, a week after her arrival, he walked into her store, and watched her face fall at the sight of him. That he had not expected. But he brushed off the other salespeople, who swarmed him in excitement of having a celebrity in their presence, and walked over to her saying, "Hi Rachel."

"Hi." She replied, guarded. He watched her face cloud, emotions fighting for dominance over her.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine. You?"

"I'm doing good too." He could tell the conversation was strained, and just as he was about to turn around and give up hope she said, "Wait. We should have dinner… You know, catch up." She gave him a half smile that he couldn't interpret, and then she continued, "You can bring your girlfriend."

He mentally hit himself at that mention; of course he had a girlfriend, who he'd totally forgotten in the past few minutes. But he smiled and agreed and they'd set a time and a place and he would see her that night. Great.

* * *

She watched him walk away, suddenly regretting asking him to invite his girlfriend. But then she shook herself and decided it was for the best, it would remind her of her place. She wasn't a part of his life anymore.

She sighed and slipped herself into a pair of designer jeans, and a Ralph Lauren sweater top. Today she'd be casual; there was no need for stunning… just a couple of friends meeting up after a year of absence. She sighed and then succumbed to the urge to put on the amount of make-up needed to be striking. After all, his girl-friend was gorgeous, if she was sitting at the same table; she needed to match up for her own sake. That's what she'd told herself. She looked herself in the mirror and was disgusted by her still mundane features. But as much as she wanted to shrink away and hide, she knew that was not a possibility, so she took a deep breath and walked to her car.

She pulled up to the restaurant and was immediately greeted by the valet, who recognizing her as a mini-celebrity eagerly offered to take her car, which she'd agreed to, and slipped him a twenty before he pulled her rented black convertible into the garage. She walked into the restaurant and was led to a table where Joey and Dani awaited. Upon her arrival, they both stood up, and introductions were made. For Dani's sake, they had both silently predetermined to be nochalant, but Joey's sudden gasp for air when he set eyes on her was enough to wash her insecurities away. In the first fifteen minutes, she'd used enough of her fake charm to completely win over Dani, but she could feel his gaze bare into her soul, and that made her un-comfortable. He started to frown and she couldn't help but notice, yet she never questioned his expression, and he never offered an answer.

Eventually, Dani stood up and took her leave, saying that she had an early morning in front of her, but that the other two should feel free to stay as long as they'd like. Joey had stood up, and had dutifully performed all the necessary rituals needed from the boyfriend. And then after ensuring her departure, she'd finally asked him. "What?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm not."

"Come on. Don't pretend. Even after a year, I still know you better then anyone else. You're disgusted with me."

"You've changed."

"So have you."

"Not like you have."

"Oh?"

"You got fucking cold."

"Oh did I?"

"Yeah. You're living an act and they all may buy it, but I don't. Remember, I know you better then the rest of them too."

"No. Joey. This is my life now. You have to accept that. I'm not the girl I used to be."

"Bull shit."

"I'm not."

"No. Everyone is telling you not to be, and you're listening to them because that is the easy way out. That's fucking sick honey."

"Maybe it is the easy way out. Huh? Maybe I don't want to deal with life. Cause you know what? It sucks."

"You have a beautiful daughter…"

"Who looks and acts exactly like her father… I want to like her. I do. But it's so fucking hard when all she does is talk about dinosaurs."

"You love her…"

"Of course I do. I just don't really… Like her."

"Oh."

"I don't know why I'm telling you this."

"Go home Rach. Or take a vacation. Sort yourself out. Don't be like this."

"That's easy for you to say. But it's all I know how to be like."

"That can't be true."

"Then how come it is?"

* * *

She left the restaurant, and drove back to her hotel, mentally kicking herself the entire way there. She'd let her guard down and that had killed her. She flung herself onto her bed and sobbed into her pillow: When had life gone this bad?


	4. Destiny's a Fickle Thing

**(GG**: I don't know if you are reading this. But you reviewed my last fanfic, haha. I love foo fighters and I will check out the music video and Sara Bareilles is brilliant, Aqualung is amazing you should check them out.. .BUT Radiohead ROCKS! Hahaha so there. **Exintaris: **My Joey is different… But then so is my Rachel. So you see they are both different. I don't know. I just didn't like Ross and Rachel and here was the only alternative offered to me. Haha. So I embraced it. Well. To each their own. But as for the dumb thing, have you ever seen Forest Gump, as dumb as he was his devotion to Jenny is heart warming. Intelligence isn't everything. And try to let go of a few of the ideas from friends. Hahaha.)

Anyways as JoeyRachel4eva did in her fanfic, haha I'm going to apologize for not updating sooner. You see, normally these things don't take me more then half an hour to write so I don't have the problem of my parents nagging me. But this one was hard to write… I didn't know where it was going. So…

* * *

He'd started to doze off, the mug of beer in his hand half drunken, I had just begun to contemplate kicking him out when he stirred. He looked up at me, and I could feel the pain in his eyes, and for the tiniest moment, I was the one in his body, suffering beyond human comprehension. But it was more regret, and self-hatred that I felt, than anger and I wondered why. As if reading my thoughts he spoke,

"All those years ago, I forced her… I shouldn't have."

* * *

**6 years ago, before Rachel told Joey they were over:**

'She'd come to my house, asking for my daughter… Her daughter… and he… was on her arm, and they were laughing and…' he spat disgustedly, 'kissing, right in front of me. And it was then that I thought, I have to end this. I need to end this. So I'd asked to speak with her… alone. And she'd agreed. I told her that she had to be with me, and that was the order of things. That was how things were supposed to go. And she… she was so disgusted with me then. She yelled. She cried. So I threatened her. I threatened her with her daughter.' He cringed slightly at the thought of that. 'I told her, be with me and you can keep her, leave me, and you'll never see her again.' So she stayed. She told him that they were over and she stayed with me; which turned out to be a mistake.'

**A year after L.A.:**

Rachel Green forced the corners of her mouth to curve up and tried to avoid the lingering urge to blink at the flash. She'd been demoted to model, no longer talking for Ralph Lauren and she was glad, she'd always hated that part. But there were times that she looked at herself and all she saw was pain. When she had a bottle in her hands and she just wanted to throw it at a mirror somewhere, so she could break herself. But she wouldn't, instead; she would take a long sip from that bottle and pray that it was take her far, far away. She would find herself falling into that land, where problems disappeared and pain was nonexistent. In her hand she held, not the disgusting liquid that caused people misery and insanity, but her ticket to escape, that was the appeal of alcohol. She blinked at the sound of speaking, and then she realized it was directed at her: "Rachel."

"Yeah?" she replied, shaking off the emptiness in her eyes.

"You're done."

"Okay." She replied hollowly, and then, following a continuous routine, her feet found their way towards her car, which Ralph Lauren had hired upon their discovery of her alcohol problem. They couldn't just ditch her though because she was part of their success. She didn't want to go home, so her mind drove her to the one place where she still felt comfortable. Even after all of these years it was still the same, still spotless and full of joy. Where a happy couple still dwelled, where she was still greeted with enthusiasm: that was where she wanted to go. She brought her hand to the door and knocked, softly. She was greeted by Chandler who told her he would go get Monica, and then invited her in.

"Hey." Monica said, as she came out of her room, towel drying her hair. "What's up?"

"Hey. Um…"

"What?"

"I don't know."

"Rachel." She said, placing her hand on her shoulders as to stabilize her and then she said, "You've got to get a hold of yourself."

"What?" She replied a bit groggily, she'd not been drinking that day but still had a headache from the night before.

"Don't give me that. You know what I'm talking about." She said, as her husband, on cue, noted that he was going to leave for awhile. Both female heads barely nodded at his announcement.

Rachel shrugged; "It's not a problem…" she began weakly.

"You know how dumb that sounds?"

She smiled slightly, "I know."

"You never told me why you started."

"Yeah I did."

"No… You didn't. All I know is that you went to visit Joey, you came back, and ever since then you've been wasted 24/7."

"Not… Not 24/7…"

"Rachel, Emma needs a Mom."

"She has one."

"No. You're not being a Mom. She's only four, she needs you more often and instead of being at home, you're here. Talking to me."

"I can't…"

"What?"

"I can't… I don't know."

"Rach… What does this have to do with Joey?"

Monica noted that she'd struck a nerve as Rachel's face crumpled slightly, before recovering saying, "Nothing."

"Come on Rachel."

"It has nothing to do with Joey."

"Right."

"It doesn't."

"You went to L.A. You told me you saw him. Do you…"

"What?" She snapped.

But Monica remained unfazed, "Do you still… have feelings for him? Is that what the drinking was all about."

"No…"

"Rachel."

"Not entirely. I started drinking because I'm a terrible mother."

"Why?"

"I was starting to resent my own child…"

Monica could only stare at this woman as she fell apart. Finally she sensed Rachel's discomfort and spoke, "What do you mean?"

"I… I blamed her… I blamed my own daughter for not allowing me to have the life I needed. And then I felt like shit. Drinking… It lessened the pain. I guess, I liked that. So I didn't stop."

"You have to stop."

"You think I don't know that!" She yelled.

Monica shrank at the sudden harshness from her friend. Rachel's eyes softened as she saw the gesture. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"It's okay hon, I know."

She looked at Monica's face, wearing a blank expression and then slowly nodded. "Yeah."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"You should talk to Ross."

Panic flashed across Rachel's face that made Monica wonder exactly what was going on in Rachel's life. "I don't… I didn't…"

"What Rach?" She said, fighting to keep the alarm out of her voice.

"Ross…"

"Yeah?"

"I didn't exactly… Well… We aren't on such good terms right now."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Okay you know what? I'm going to call him, and you two are going to talk. I'll take Emma, but please! Sort yourselves out! I don't like things this way."

Rachel looked down, as if that was the last thing that she wanted to do, but then she forced herself to look back up and nod. "Alright. Okay… I can do that… I can talk to Ross."

"Yeah." Said Monica, trying to encourage her, "It's no big deal, you guys are destined to be together you can work it out."

Rachel sighed and diverted her glance before whispering, "Destiny's a fickle thing." (haha I wrote a song and that was one of the lyrics).

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Okay. I'm going to call him okay, and you two are going to work it out. I know you can."

"Yeah."

As Monica pressed the phone to her ear, Rachel slipped out, and stumbled across the hall. Joey had continued to rent the apartment, having been rich enough to afford it but not emotionally able to afford letting it go. He'd given them all keys and told them to take care of it, but eventually everyone had lost theirs, save for Rachel. It became her heaven, sometimes where she disappeared to after trying fights with Ross. It was her reminder of Joey. As she walked in and touched the counters just to feel them beneath her fingers, she fought desperation. She was looking for something; something that had given her strength before when she'd needed it. And now she needed it again. She dug through a drawer to return triumphant, in her hand she held a letter, she ran her fingers over the writing, because it was his, and that gave her strength. Then her eyes sought out the part she needed to hear, 'Go to Ross, and remember how you used to love him, and try to love again.' But there was nothing. No hope. So she spat at it disgusted and cursed, "What the hell do you know?"

Monica had made her way over to Joey's old apartment, and found Rachel crying on the ground, holding a letter. "Rach? Rach? What is it?" she deplored frantically.

But Rachel couldn't answer her, she just sat on the ground, rocking herself and crying. Finally Monica walked over to her friend and enveloped her in a hug whispering, "Don't cry babe, it's going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay."

But Rachel didn't respond. Finally Monica asked, "Can I read it?"

Rachel looked a little defensive at first, but then she softened and handed the paper over to Monica for her to read.

As she read, Rachel was examining her face, was it just her, or was this letter heartbreaking? She watched Monica place a hand over her mouth and it confirmed her suspicion; this letter would be the death of her, while being her strength.

* * *

"Joey…" He heard, but failed to acknowledge the voice, not quite recognizing it as directed to him but then it repeated, "Joey!" So he had to look up.

"Yeah." He replied.

"You've been spacey A LOT lately, what's the matter?"

"Oh. Nothing honey."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." He said, turning to kiss his girlfriend, "Hey Joe." He said, smiling at her.

She giggled, "That's your name."

"Oh? Well then what's yours, I seem to have forgotten it." He said teasingly.

"Guess." She whispered, as she kissed his ear.

"Jackie?"

"No…"

"Sexy?"

"Haha. No!"

"Oh. Angel?"

"No!" she squealed, and he rolled his eyes at her innocence. He hated playing these games with her, but she seemed to love it.

"Beautiful?"

"No… Getting closer though."

"I give up."

"It's Jessie baby!"

"Ooh that's right!" He said, with fake enthusiasm.

He'd broken up with Dani about a month ago, and had started going out with Jessica Moroso, who'd come to fame through American Idol. Unfortunately, she was as dumb as she was pretty, and often he'd find himself staring at her like, 'she said what?' He couldn't help but compare her to Rachel. Fiercely faithful, he thought that Rachel was the prettier, although you couldn't really compare their beauty. Rachel was the untouchable face on the billboards, promoting a credible designer. Jessica was more blonde, and preppy, she was beautiful in a trashy way. He'd realized how long it had been, and that he should be over Rachel by now, but he couldn't do it. And he'd resigned himself to loving her eternally.

* * *

**Present Day:**

"You know, that wasn't the first time she left me… But it was the first time we ever had to talk it out. Monica made us, so we didn't have much of a choice. But that talk was crap as well… And I just kept losing her, over and over and over again. It was a shitty situation. She hated me, and she hated our child for binding her to me, but she couldn't bear to have her child taken away, and I couldn't bear to just let her walk away. I wish I had. At least then I wouldn't have lost two friends."


	5. Runnin' With the Devil by Van Halen

Adding to the debate about Joey and Rachel and why I like them… Matt Leblanc is, or at least was, really, really, really hot. Haha. So there. Oh by the way, I'm going to just start tittling chapters after whatever I'm listening to when I write them.

**GG**: Sad and depressing is how I roll MOFO! Haha… just kidding. Radiohead is awesome. Give them a chance. But you know who you should hear? Priscilla Ahn is a new artist and she is amazing, especially if you like Sara Barrellies, and Tetuir is good too. (You have to find him on itunes tho…) Haha. You should listen to them and tell me what you think. Oh and if you have any suggestions on music I am open. Haha, but yeah. I am NOT a Ross and Rachel Fan. I'm sorry… if that's what you want then I cannot deliver.

* * *

I just stared at him for awhile before I could think of something to say, finally I said, "So did you guys talk?"

He looked at me, a little shocked at hearing me speak, or maybe he didn't understand that he'd been telling a story. Maybe his talking was just reliving his life. Just as I was about to run away he spoke again, "Yeah. We talked; it took another two months of avoiding each other for that to happen, but... it didn't do much good."

* * *

**After Rachel's breakdown:**

He walked in and looked at her still figure on the couch, staring blankly through him. She startled as she realized, delayed, that he was standing in front of her. They existed in uncomfortable silence for awhile, unsure of how to break their mutual anger. Realizing that she wasn't going to speak, he opened his mouth to, but nothing came out. So he shut it again. Eventually, she looked away, he could tell she was searching for some alcohol but knew that she wouldn't find any. She'd never brought any alcohol into Joey's apartment. He didn't know why. Neither did she. What had ended up forcing them into conversation was Rachel grabbing the nearest trash can and puking into it. Discomfort turned into concern as he rushed to her side. But when he attempted to touch her, to apologize for her condition, she pushed him away, as if he'd stung. Surprised and hurt, he'd said, "What, now I can't touch you anymore?"

She'd responded by puking again, which swept guilt into his being. She took the nearby towel and wiped her mouth and then continued to glare at him. He tried again softly, "You should go to the hospital."

She smirked, and then picked up a glass of water and sipped from it, all while watching him. He responded with an indignant, "What?"

Finally she spoke, "Is this the fairy tale life you wanted?"

Another shot of guilt flushed through his being after his mind replayed the first time he'd spoken those words. It was that day. THAT day. The day when he had told her that he couldn't live without her, and would do anything he could to have her. Including forcing her. When he had said, "I swear to God Rach, I'm going to get my fairy tale ending, and if you have a problem with that…" what had he finished with? Suddenly he remembered and embarrassment shot through is heart, "then I'll make you miserable." What gang was he in? But her bringing up the memory just angered him, and when he was angry he didn't think right. That was the problem with this meeting. He was easy to anger, being stubborn and competitive, unable to accept criticism. And she knew exactly which buttons of his to push in order to make him angry.

"What you gonna do Rach? Huh? What would you have done? Married your idiot boyfriend? Lived with him instead, and have HIM supporting your child. Do you know where you would have ended up? Huh? Do ya? I'll tell ya. In a hole somewhere crying your face away while he chased after other women, and then you would have come crawling back to me. This way is better… Why can't you accept that?"

"Don't make this about you wanting to help me. We both know that is not true. You said it yourself; this is about you getting the life you imagined. And don't you dare call him an idiot. You have no right."

"I'll call him whatever I want!"

"No." she said firmly, "Whatever you do, do not…"

"Fucking idiot! Dumbass, Moron, Motherfucker…"

"Ross..."

Ross took a breath as if to continue, but then realized that in his 'nerd' existence, he didn't really know that much trash talk, so instead turned it into a chant, "Fucking idiot, dumbass, moron, motherfucker!" She took another sip of water, rolled her eyes, and laid back to wait through the show. Finally, realizing the embarrassment that he was due, he stopped. She looked at him and shook her head. He replied with, "What are you going to do about it Rachel? Huh? How are you going to defend your boyfriend?"

With that she leaped out of her chair, slapped him in the face and then walked to the door. Just as he was rubbing his cheek in confusion, he heard her speak. "Get out." She said, with malice in her voice. "Leave."

"You going to make me leave this apartment Rach? I own it just as much as you do."

"Get out." She said, her voice shaking dangerously.

"You going to make me? Hmm… You know what? I think I'll stay, you know I haven't been in here for awhile, maybe I'll have myself a drink and watch a bit of t.v."

"Ross…" her voice warned.

"And while I'm at it, maybe I'll order a pizza, just so I can be exactly like your lover!"

"Ross!"

"What Rach? Face it, your in love with a man who doesn't love you anymore."

"You don't know that…" she said, vulnerably.

But Ross only grinned at the bombshell he was about to drop. He took his sweet time and then finally said, "Your boyfriend is getting married sweetheart." And tossed the invitation in front of her feet, adding, "And you're invited."


	6. Free Fallin' by Tom Petty

GG: I'm sorry about that MOFO comment. I have a WEIRD sense of humor. It gets me in trouble. Hmmm… I agree with the harmonica song. I didn't like that one… I hate country, so you have to trust me that the other ones are good. Haha Do you like John Mayer? Because I worship at his alter!! HAHAHA. I'm sorry if I overwhelm you, but my FAVORITE topic ever is music. So. I like talking about it. JoeyRachel4eva: Sorry I didn't update yesterday. But! I am updating now. So do me a favor, update _choices_!!

Interesting news, I may revive **these are the moments** for you fans of that! Haha we'll see if I can figure out a way to continue it. Thank you for reviews! They make my day.

* * *

**Continuation of previous chapter:**

"You're invited."

"What?" she said, her body frozen, thoughts in her head left unprocessed.

"You heard me." He said, taking in sick excitement at seeing that he'd hurt her. It never occurred to him to be disappointed at the reason for her hurt. "Did you really think that he'd wait his whole life for you?"

"I…"

"Did you really think that Joey Tribianni could be injured so deeply, that he'd never recover?"

"I…"

"Did you really think you were that special? That he'd still be yearning for you after all these years?"

"Ross…"

"Did you? You selfish bitch!" he said, as she fell to the floor unconscious.

"Oh fuck."

* * *

He looked at Jessica, and studied her face critically, thinking, 'Yeah. She's okay.' He'd figured that he'd never get over Rachel, so he may as well get married. That'd save him from having to break up with another girl, and having to explain to another girl why he was distant and cold. He'd always said, "I'm a loner, but baby, I'm willing to change for you." Good thing he was an actor, otherwise he'd never been able to spew this crap. As far as he was concerned, his life had ended the day that Rachel walked out it, and it killed him now to know that she was so happy with Ross, even though that had been what he'd wanted. He hadn't talked to her since she'd been in L.A. but since there had been no more complaints, he'd assumed all was well. He turned to hand her the last invitations, which she'd read out loud, "Monica Geller, Ross Geller, Chandler Bing, Pheobe Buffay…" she read out loud, and then turned to him and said, "Who are these people? Their not famous!"

"No. They were my best friends from New York."

"Oh. She said, stuffing them into the mailbox and then turning to walk away. When he didn't follow she turned and asked, "What's the matter honey?"

"Oh. Nothing." He'd said, shaking the daydreams from his head and then adding, "you go ahead, I'll come in a second." And then he continued to stare at the remaining invitation in his hand. In him, this invitation was raging a war, if he didn't invite her, she'd be hurt and she'd know that he didn't keep his promise to move on. But if he did invite her, he was sure that a repeat of Ross's London wedding would be inevitable. And he wouldn't be able to control himself before grabbing her and running away with her. Eventually, desire to see her, and to keep her from hurt beat out practicality, and the invitation made its way down the shoot and disappeared, past the point of no return.

* * *

He sat with his arm around Jessica, having dinner with yet another celebrity couple that she was addicted to. It seemed that since she'd come to fame she did little in the music business, which was where her fame had originated, but she more just… existed in Hollywood. She could after all; her first album earned her enough money to never have to work again. And she was marrying Joey, who by now had a Golden Globe and Independent Spirit award to his name, and was making two to three million a picture. Realizing that he'd just been asked a question he said, "I'm sorry what?"

"Oh." Said the random man in front of him, Joey knew he was famous somehow, but eventually, fame had faded to faze him, and he'd stopped keeping up with celebrities, so this man was unidentifiable, "I was just saying congratulations on your engagement." He said smiling, "You couldn't find a more beautiful woman."

"Oh. Yeah." He replied, forcing what he'd hoped was a proud grin on his face, "I know." Jessica giggled and buried her face into his shoulder. Ever playing the part of good boyfriend, he wrapped his arm around her and gave her a squeeze and as much of a smile as he could muster. He was constantly acting, and that had done wonders to his career. The continuous practice, that didn't stop with the end of a scene, was allowing him to be able to act any character to the fullest, and his movies were starting to generate Oscar buzz. For a moment he got lost in the daydream of being able to thank Rachel as he stood in front of a crowd, but then he shook himself and forced his mind into reality.

"Have you guys set a date yet?" Anonymous man was asking.

He let Jessica respond for them, "Yeah, you'll get the invitation soon, right honey?" she baby talked to Joey.

"Right sweetie." He'd faked right back.

She giggled again saying, "Oh I'm so excited!"

He winced inwardly at her squeals, but concealed it, faking excitement right back, "Oh. Me too!"

"Aw. Look how cute you guys are!" said the other man's wife… 'or was it sister?' he thought.

Jessica grinned up at him and he grinned back. He'd figured it out awhile ago, when she grinned, he followed suite, and everything would be alright.

"Have you picked a band?" that was the man again.

Jessica answered, "Well now that we can have pretty much anyone we want," she giggled at that, "It's a lot harder choice! But I was thinking someone more girly, like… OOO! Who's that girl that play's Hannah Montana?"

"Miley Cyrus?"

"Yeah! Her!"

"Honey." Joey said softly, "She's really famous. I don't… And besides, do you really want the KID who sings, _We Got the Party… _(omg. It took me all of five minutes to find a song that she sings…) to sing at our wedding?"

"What's wrong with that?" Jessica pouted, "She's popular! I want someone's who's popular."

"Honey I understand that!" he whispered, he usually gave her everything that she'd wanted but the idea of having a girl who was stalked by ten year olds sing at his wedding was a bit too much, "But… Don't you think we should have someone more… Romantic?"

"No! I want Miley Cyrus!"

"Okay. Okay." He consented, realizing that they were making a scene. He tried to smile at her, "Miley Cyrus it is."

"Yay!" she squealed, making Joey wince.

"Yay!" he mirrored, less enthusiastically. But in her joy, she'd hardly noticed his lack of.

* * *

"Mr. Geller?" the nurse said.

"Yes that's me!" Ross exclaimed, jumping to his feet, adding, "How is she?"

"She's stable." the nurse said, and then hesitated, before adding, "Mr. Geller, I know it's not my place, but please…" she struggled to word her plea and finally released, "I talked to her and she seemed to be under stress… I don't really know what's going on with her but try to… make it easier on her… please."

Ross ignored this and instead asked, "What's wrong with her? Is she pregnant?" Just as these words left his mouth he realized how dumb they were. They hadn't slept together in months, and even before all the fighting and alcohol, they had rarely done it.

The nurse shifted uncomfortably, "That seems to be the problem here; she thought she was too, so she stopped drinking alcohol… She's suffering from alcohol withdraw. She's fine now, but she needs to go into rehab, we've treated her… but in order for her to quit fully, she needs some social therapy… you know, self-help groups. It usually lasts 90 days."

Ross nodded numbly, "Okay. Of course. When should she go?"

"We're going to take her. And we're going to take her right now."

"Where?"

"We're going to send her to the best. I'm sorry…"

"Why? Where?"

"Um… the Betty Ford Center."

"Oh."

"It's in L.A. I'm sorry."


	7. Still They Ride by Journey

GG: Exactly honey! I hate Miley Cyrus. Haha. Good Call. friends-girl2008: Do I hate Ross? Oh God. That's what it sounds like huh? No I don't hate Ross.. How can I? He's on Friends! Haha. Exintaris: And the rest of this is just SUCH a heart-warming story. Haha. I don't know why Joey couldn't have picked someone nicer… I really didn't think about that.

Right now, I am very disappointed because on itunes, the top sales are dominated by Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry. Bleh

* * *

**Rachel's conversation with the nurse:**

"Honey." She said, as Rachel continued to stare ahead, she repeated herself a tiny bit louder, "Honey?"

"Yeah?" Rachel said eventually, "What?"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Did I lose my baby?"

"What?"

"Is she gone?"

"What baby honey?"

"I was pregnant. Right? I missed my period…"

"You weren't pregnant."

"What?"

"It happens when you don't… eat enough, or drink enough…" she paused adding, "Water... It comes late a bit."

"oh…" she scoffed, "I should have known, I mean… we haven't done…" she raised an eyebrow, "You know." The nurse nodded, "In awhile."

"Yeah." She turned to leave and then turned back, "Oh! Honey, um… either I can talk to you about this, or we can wait awhile until you feel more up to it and the doctor can talk to you…"

"Let's do it now. Whatever it is… just… get it over with."

"It's about rehab."

"Oh. Yeah. I know I need it."

"You do."

"What do you suggest?"

"Well, there are rehabilitation clinics everywhere; there should be one in New York that is suitable for your condition, so you won't be far from your family…"

"No" Rachel interrupted, "No. Take me as far away as you can."

"Um…"

"And you have to tell my… husband it is… absolutely necessary, please." She begged.

The nurse hesitated and then looked into Rachel's eyes and saw her plea, "Alright, I'll see what I can do."

* * *

"Hello?" he said, supporting the phone with his shoulder as he sorted through the mail. "Yeah." He replied, as the voice on the other side said, "Joey?"

"Joey. Are you at home?"

"Yes honey. Where are you?"

"Well I'm at work. I don't think I'm going to make it home tonight."

"Oh. Okay. That's fine."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah. Sure. I'll just order some food, you know? Have a man's night."

"Haha okay. See you tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Love you!"

"Bye."

"Bye."

He leafed through the RSVP's that he'd been sent back and finally found the one's that he'd been looking for. He saw Ross's name, and then Chandler's and Monica's, followed by Phoebe and Mike, and then followed by Charlie Ross. Confused he flipped through the stack again, trying to reaffirm the absence, not fully believing it before he resigned, 'why wasn't Rachel coming to his wedding? Maybe hers had just gotten lost in the mail… Yeah. That must be it.'

* * *

**Three-weeks later:**

He'd gotten used to the fact that he was marrying Jessica, and was even beginning to like her. In the end, Jessica had actually listened to Miley Cyrus and had agreed that her music was childish and unsuitable for the wedding. They had settled for a smaller act, John Mellencamp, who was better fitting, and who Joey actually liked. He started being more sincere when they did 'couple' things, like hugging and saying 'sweetie,' and eventually, he thought less and less of Rachel. His wedding was to be later that day and he was looking forward to it, instead of the dread he'd felt weeks earlier. He'd been greeting guests when in came Monica, Chandler, Phoebe and Mike, followed by a sulking Ross. He smiled when he saw them, fighting the small twinge of disappointment that she wasn't there. And then ushered them to their seats, where Phoebe took him aside and said very seriously, "She wanted to be here. She just… couldn't." And that was the only explanation he was given. He forced the hurt away and concentrated on arranging things just right.

* * *

**An Hour Later:**

He watched his bride walk down the aisle and he felt his breath catch in his chest. Despite some of his resentment toward her earlier, and the small spurts of stupidity she had, he really cared for her, and she was unmistakably beautiful. He found himself smiling; maybe he wasn't hurt so bad after all. He was so lost in his thoughts that he failed to notice the uncomfortable look on her face, and a few minutes later, it was gone. The minister was saying, "Do you sir, take this woman as your wife…" and when he was finished, Joey said, "I do." As the minister was talking to Jessica, the worried look re-crossed her face and as the minister finished his speech, she blurted out, "I slept with Charlie!" and then softly added, "I'm sorry."


	8. Come As You Are by Nirvana

GG: Haha. I'm just a little disappointed that the first Rock song on the list is at number 19. And it is Three Doors Down's new song which is AMAZING! But that's just me. friends-girl2008: It doesn't really matter who Charlie is, I just needed to get rid of her somehow.

* * *

He sat there, fingering a photo of himself and his now ex-fiancée. He should have expected the betrayal; he should have seen it coming. The late nights at work, and the phone calls that always ended just as he walked into the room were more then hinting, they were incriminating. But he hadn't, because he'd been so caught up in his own problems. He heard a knock, and ignored it, but then suddenly someone opened the door to his stall and walked in. He was surprised to see a girl in the boy's bathroom, but surprise turned to hatred when he registered her identity.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Charlie now?"

"Joey…"

"Leave me alone."

"Joey. I couldn't… I couldn't get through to you! And I know I was dumb but I was scared, and you were so distant… I mean you got better, and I tried to end it but…"

"You're killing me, you realize that?"

"Joey! You're better off without me! I know I can be dumb at times…"

"And what am I? Einstein?"

"Who?"

"Nevermind."

"Joey. This is for the best! You're better off without me! I'm setting you free here."

"I don't want to be free!"

"You do. You'll realize that in a couple days, you're better off without me."

"Look. You can make this about you doing what's right as much as you want. But you humiliated me in front of my friends, and family and the public! The magazines are going to get a hold of this! Jess."

"I'm sorry! I panicked!"

"No kidding."

"I was scared and cowardly and I wanted to be what you needed but I realize that I'm not."

"How do you know what I need?"

"I don't, and I don't think you know what you need either. So go out and find that."

"Okay."

"Okay?" She said, giving him a small smile.

"Yeah." He said, grudgingly, "Okay."

She hugged him saying, "You're going to be a great man without me Joey. I just know it."

He laughed, "Yeah. Sure."

She stood to leave, but right as she was about to walk out the door, she turned and said, "I know it."

"Okay, whatever. Bye Jessica."

"Bye Joey."

Well, at least one good thing came out of this. He'd learned he could live without Rachel.

* * *

After fixing himself up, he started to leave the bathroom, when yet another woman came flying around the corner, saying, "There you are!" and then pushing him back into the bathroom. Surprised he allowed himself to be lead back and watched as the blonde pushed a chair against the door and pulled the other two up so they would have a place to sit. She checked under the stalls for any signs of occupancy, and being satisfied that there were none she started, "Joey? We have to talk."

"No kidding." He muttered under his breath, but she ignored this.

"It's about Rachel."

"What?"

"Um…"

"Damn it Phoebe! Out with it!"

"She's…"

"What?"

"Her and Ross had a fight."

"So… They always had fights."

"No. She… This one ended with her…"

"Phoebe!"

"She's not at your wedding cause' she's in rehab." she blurted out.

"What? For what?" Concern etched on his features.

"Um… Alcohalism."

* * *

Frantic he drove toward the Betty Ford Center. Being in Hollywood had at least granted him the knowledge of its location. He'd visited countless co-stars in the center before; he'd just never expected to be visiting Rachel there.

He parked his car hastily, and had to re-park, impatiently, after various car horn had honked, reprimanding him for his sloppiness. After his critics had been satified of the car's adequate parking, he'd rushed out and sprinted towards the entrance. Once inside, he was informed that there were only fifteen minutes left of visiting hours, so he impatiently rushed along the sign in procedure. Finally they lead him to her room, where he found her, staring at a picture of her daughter. Soft music played in the background, which was "temper control," for other patients, but Rachel, even in her most intoxicated state, never had anger problems. Ralph Lauren had covered all expenses, eager to have her back as a spokesperson, and even more eager to have her beauty back as their model. Without her they knew they would suffer, so only the best for the face of Ralph Lauren.

He knocked on the open door, drawing her attention away from the picture frame, and to his figure. She grinned widely at the sight of him, and he walked over to her to be pulled into a tight hug. Finally he pulled back and inspected her face. It was gaunt, but had started to regain rosiness and beauty after many months of appearing ghostly. Eventually he spoke, "Rachel what happened?"

She winced at the disappointment in his voice, and suddenly she knew why there was never any alcohol in his apartment. It was like admitting weakness to Joey, when she had promised strength. She didn't want him to be disappointed, so in his apartment, she never drank. She shrugged at his question and remained silent.

"Rach? Come on."

She looked at him and changed the subject, "Aren't you supposed to be getting married today?"

"Yeah. I was."

"Oh."

"I got dumped… at the alter."

She stared at him shocked, "Wha…"

He just laughed and said, with traces of hurt in his voice, "She just blurted out… right in front of everybody, 'I slept with Charlie.'"

"Who the hell is Charlie?"

"I don't know. I should have seen it coming but…"

"You were in love."

He hesitated and finally said, "Yeah."

She tried to fight the disappointment at hearing him say that, and smiled instead, "I'm getting a divorce."

"What?" He said, horror written on his face.

"Yup. Bad day for marriage huh?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I can't take it anymore. All we do is fight and that's how I ended up here…"

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So what are you going to do? You know, with Emma."

"Oh. Well. We are going to share custody, but Ross gets the entire summer, and I get the majority of the rest of the year."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"So what are you going to do with all that time?"

"I'm going to travel a bit. Ralph Lauren is sending me across Europe, so I'm going to do that over the summer."

"That's good."

"Yup." She grinned, "I always wanted to do that. You know? Go places I've only heard about." She said it with such innocence and excitement that Joey couldn't help but laugh. She looked at him quizzically but he only said:

"Well, you're going to live your dream."

She grinned again, "Exactly." Then she turned and studied his face saying, "You've changed."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You're more… mature."

"As in less stupid." He said grinning.

She laughed, "That too." and then sobered up a bit, saying, "No. I mean it you've grown up." There was a trace of wonderment in her voice.

He only laughed.

"You know what?" she said suddenly.

"What?"

"You're very famous kiddo."

"Oh? And you aren't?"

"Not really."

"Your face is everywhere hon. That counts."

She blushed slightly pleased, "Who would have thought?"

"Hey!" he said, in fake defense.

"I meant… about me."

"Oh. No. I always knew that."

"That what?"

"That one day Ralph Lauren would wake up and realize they have a treasure in their midst."

She laughed and then smiled at him, "Thank you."

"No problem."

"So." She said, "What are your plans? You know… now that you're a free man."

He winced slightly at those words, and for a moment she felt guilty and searched for a topic changer, but then he answered, "I don't know. I've only been, you know, 'free' for a couple hours."

"Yeah."

The silence returned for awhile before he said, "It's good to see you smiling again."

"Yeah. Well… I'm in a good place."

"Yeah?"

"Oh. Yeah." And then she laughed and said suddenly, "you know what I always wanted to be?"

"What?"

"I wanted to be a singer… there was always something about Joni Mitchell and Aretha Franklin and Yoko Ono that was so… exciting to me. You know?"

He knew exactly, it was the same sort of enchantment that had lead him to acting, "I can see that."

"You think?" she asked pleased.

"Yeah. I do."

She smiled and said, "Hm." Then she laughed, "Oh. Well. I have a good job now."

"Yeah."

It was at this moment that a head stuck through the door and said, "Mrs. Geller? Visiting hours are over, I'm afraid your guest must leave."

Joey turned to Rachel and said, "I guess that's my cue."

"Yeah." She said, standing to hug him, "Come see me again?" she half asked, half pleaded.

"Don't worry. I will. And you be sure to send me postcards when you're touring Europe okay?"

She smiled and agreed, and then he left, and she fell on her bed, her mind silently searching for a bottle of alcohal.

* * *

A couple days later, Ross came to visit her. He'd come punctually, exactly at the time she was allotted for visiting, and he came bearing flowers, and divorce papers. Their conversation was restrained at best, anger bordering on appearing but never actually rearing its ugly head.

She'd greeted him with, "Where's Emma?"

"Oh. That's all you care about huh?"

"No. I just… missed her."

He opened his mouth to argue further but stopped himself, instead saying, "Monica's going to bring her tomorrow when she comes."

"Oh."

"I brought you… these." He said, handing her the flowers.

She took them and smiled slightly at him, "Thanks Ross."

He looked away, and then said, "And I also brought… this." and handed her their divorce papers, "you just have to sign them, and then you are free to go."

She nodded, and then realizing that his head was still turned, she said, "okay." She hesitated and then took the papers from him, she paused for awhile and he said, "Rach? What's wrong?"

"Um… do you have a pen?"

"Oh. Yeah. Here." He said, handing it to her.

"Thanks." She said, and after another moment's hesitation she signed her name and sealed the fate of her first marriage. Ross took back the documents and then gave her a grim smile saying, "Goodbye Rachel."

"Bye Ross."


	9. Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton

Leane: Yup there's a reason I update fast, it is a smidgen of guilt combined with an absolutely childish curiosity to know the ending of my own story. The guilt being that in a couple of days I will be leaving you folks and there will be no new updates until two weeks and a half later, and the curiosity is because my hands do the typing and then I read the writing and am suddenly amazed at it's appearance. Haha.

* * *

**Seven weeks later: **

"Hey. Is this a bad time?" a voice announced from the doorway.

She raised her head to face the figure and her face broke into a slow and restrained grin, her excitement contained in her tiny voice as she said, "Joey!"

"Hey!" he said, going to hug her, and then pulling away adding, "How are you doing?"

She whispered the answer to him, "I hate it here."

"Oh?"

"I mean, it's okay, but they give me all of these drugs to maintain my body… You know, so I won't get another seizure, and they bring in all of these speakers, and they talk about how terrible it was for them on alcohol and stuff, and for some reason that makes me feel really bad… But I still can't help but want another drink… Am I a terrible person?"

"What? No. Of course not, you're just normal. Listen Rach, I have had a TON of co-stars come through here and you have to believe me, you're better then normal."

She responded to his words with just a smile and spun around and flopped on her bed. Then she looked up at him and said, "So. Any new projects?"

The pride that conquered his face at the mention of 'project,' was more then enough to make her squeal with excitement, "What? What is it?"

"Um…" he said, and then scoffed, a little embarrassed, "Well. It's a drama, and I haven't really done any of those yet…"

"Oh!" she squealed again, "That's great!"

"I know!" he continued, his excietment gaining momentum to match hers, "You know. I've never really been taken seriously, because all of the dramatic roles I played were like,_ Days of our Lives_ shit, but this is real! This could be my break!"

"Oh Joey, come here." She said, enveloping him into a hug. "I'm sure you'll be amazing."

"I hope so." He gave back.

"I know so." Was her only reply, and her confidence in him was so certain that he couldn't help but believe her.

They finished up the rest of his stay with Rachel gossiping about her co-inhabitants, "Danny over there in room 108, I'm pretty sure that every time his girlfriend comes to visit, she brings him some crack."

"What?"

"It's really easy to smuggle in!"

"Oh. In that case do you want some?" he teased.

She only laughed and continued, "And Pattie, in room 110, I heard that she was caught dancing in a fountain, bare assed, which happened to be in the background of a LIVE broadcast of MTV's TRL."

"Oh. I heard about that! The producers were pissed!"

"Yeah? Well so is she at being here." She said; amusement tracing her lips.

"I can imagine." He replied with a smile, just as a calendar, the sole occupant of the tan wall beside him; caught his eye, "You only have at week left in here?"

She grinned, "Yup. Then its home free!"

"Um… Just out of curiosity: where exactly is home?"

"I don't know. I think Ralph Lauren is going to put me up at a hotel in L.A. for awhile... I'm not supposed to go too far away from this place for the first few weeks, and then after that, I tour Europe… Haha. So, I kinda get my rockstar dream…" she grinned up at him.

"Yeah. Are you sure you want to stay at a hotel? I mean I have a guest room… You could stay there."

"No, no. It's fine, I don't want to impose, and besides, they're giving me a NICE room, haha, they're freaked out that I'll relapse so they really are paying for anything and everything I want…"

"Need, have to have…" he finished.

"Exactly." She said smiling.

"Okay... If you're sure then."

"I'm sure." She said.

He smiled, "Okay then. So… How's the food in this place?"

She laughed, and in her mirth, regained more of her rosiness, "I knew you would get to that eventually."

"Hey! Don't laugh! It was an honest question!"

But as much as she tried to contain it, she let out a slight giggle before replying with, "I don't really know. Okay I guess, I didn't really have that much of an appetite here so…"

"Oh." He said, turning serious in an obvious attempt to avoid an uncomfortable subject, and again tried to change the topic, "So how's... Emma?"

"Um… Monica is supposed to bring her over tomorrow. So I get to see her then!" she said, excitment shining through her controlled voice.

"That's good."

"Yeah. I haven't seen her in awhile, cause' you know... Ross thinks it's a good idea for her 'to get used to the separation.'" She said, making a face.

"Yeah. Well, Ross thinks a lot…" he said, a teasing tone underlying his serious one.

She laughed, adding, "Yeah. Too much."

"That's Ross."

Her expression turned serious, "Um… Have you talked to him?"

"Yeah. Um... I think we're golden..." he said uncomfortably, he hadn't actually talked to Ross, but didn't want to alarm her.

"That's good. I know you didn't like it when…"

"Rach. Let's not talk about this…" he interrupted.

"Right. Sorry." She said, hurt intertwining with her voice.

"I'm sorry. I didn't…"

"No. It's okay. I understand."

"Okay…" The uncomfortable silence returned, and at a loss of words Joey just said, "Okay… Well I guess I have to go."

"Okay." She mirrored, "um… bye."

"Yeah. Bye." He said, as he turned to leave.

* * *

"So… Joey was here yesterday."

"That's right."

"And he left suddenly."

"Yeah."

"And now you're all freaked out and pissy."

"No! I just… I'm just… a little worried. I mean… I want…" she amended her statement, "No. I need to be his friend right now."

"Yeah. I know hon. I'm just teasing."

"It wasn't funny."

"No?"

"No."

"Damn."

"I'm sorry."

"I'll work on it."

"You do that."

"I will."

"Let's focus."

"Okay."

Rachel laughed and then said, "So what's new with you?"

"Um… Nothing really. We're still… trying to adopt." She said, attempting to smile.

"Monica… is there a problem?"

"No. There really… There isn't."

"Okay."

"It's just… I look at your beautiful baby here," she said as Emma giggled to her stuffed Elmo, "And I can't help but feel the… the urge you know? Like… I don't want to die on my kid's fifteenth birthday…"

"You're not that old honey."

"I am though! I'm getting old!"

"Hey! I'm the same age as you!"

"But you already have a kid!"

"I still don't want to be old."

"Well if it helps you're a couple months younger then me."

"That doesn't help."

"That sucks."

"Doesn't it?"

"Concentrate."

"Okay."

"I need a kid."

"We can steal one for you."

"What is with you?"

"I don't know."

"You're in a strangely good mood despite your recent freak out at me, when I walked into the door. What drugs do they have you on?"

"Valium… and Pot, Crack, Blow…"

"Okay. I get it."

"I'm not done."

"I don't want to know."

"I just realized I get to leave in less then a week Mon!"

"I know."

"I get to blow this hell hole!"

"Okay…"

"I'll be free!"

"You're really scaring me. You realize that doing drugs would mean another 90 days of this 'hell-hole?'"

"Shut up. I'm happy."

"Okay."

* * *

"Joey!" he heard, just as he was readying his mouth for another dose of meatball sub.

"Yeah?" he replied to the approaching figure.

"Joey. I want to introduce you to someone," came from his manager's mouth, and then again, "Joey?"

"Yeah." He said, shaking the thoughts from his head. He'd been obsessing over his last meeting with Rachel. Why had it become uncomfortable so suddenly? He knew the answer, he had never mended things with Ross, and the guilt was starting to kill him.

"Joey! I want to introduce you to someone!" Jake repeated, and then grabbed his resisting body by the elbow and dragged him along, as Joey yelled protests regarding his meatball sub.

They finally halted in front of a beautiful woman, raven hair rolling off ivory shoulders. Her mouth seemed naturally red, illuminated by the red in her top; she had the stubborn chin and defined jaw line that was required for most of Hollywood's conquests, and emerald eyes that shimmered identical to the earrings dangling from her ears. She was smiling at him, and saying, "I'm so excited that we are going to be working together," at which he could only stammer, "Yeah… Me… Yeah me too."

She smiled again and he blinked to break the trance, "So, let's get to know each other shall we?"

* * *

**A couple of hours later:**

"So… Victoria." Joey slurred, an equally drunk Victoria winced and giggled, saying:

"Hey! Don'tcha call me that… me that…"

"Then what do I call ya'?"

"You forgot again?" she said, tossing her head to the side in fake dismay.

"Yup…" Joey said, although looking extremely happy at the thought.

"Tori."

"Tori?"

"Yeah."

"I like it."

"You liked it the other times I told you too…" she said giggling.

"That's cause' it's easy to like."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"That makes sense."

"Doesn't it?"

She giggled again taking another sip from a half full beer bottle, before throwing it across the room. They both fell silent hearing it break, and then Tori said, "Wha' was that?"

"I think something broke."

"Oh… Oh well." She said, and then returned to her happy demeanor.

"But this is your house!"

"So?"

"What if it was something val… val… val'ur'eble?" he finally spat out.

"Huh."

"Huh."

"That'd suck."

"Yup." He said happily.

"Oh well."

"Whoopsidaisies!"

She laughed long and hard and then mirrored, "Whoopsidaisies!"

And their conversation dissolved into variations of the word 'whoops,' until they both fell down unconscious where they sat.


	10. Good Love is on the Way by John Mayer

Hola people. Haha. I just read over my reviews for my first fanfiction, which was _Longing, _and I discovered that I learned A LOT from the criticisms, so PLEASE I'm begging you, (aside from Exintaris who is doing this quite well… haha) if you find some sort of error, or even if you have a problem with my writing style or want more dialogue, less dialogue… less description, more description… (_Longing _was pretty much all description, so if you want to check that out and compare) PLEASE TELL ME! That's how I get better, and isn't that the point of writing?

ALSO: **This is going to be the last update for awhile, at least until I get back. But please review, and please criticize like I said above.**

**GG: **I listened to Justin Nozuka, and he's great! Haha. I'm going to get his album. And guess what? I get to see the Flobot's live! Not that I really like Rap but that song is hilarious. So. Good calls. Yeah I have a friend name Victoria too who goes by Tori so.

* * *

Dear Joey,

You told me to send you a postcard, so I am. Guess where I am? Well… I suppose you can guess because the other side of the postcard had AMSTERDAM pasted on the side in HUGE block letters. See I don't think you're THAT dumb. Just kidding. I do. Haha. Kidding again. Anyways, I love it here, I can feel myself come alive again and it feels GREAT! Please write me back, I'll give you the return address, and tell me what's new in your life! I'm dying for updates.

Love,

Rachel

* * *

Dear Rach,

You have no idea how happy I am that you are 'coming alive,' isn't that how you put it? In fact, I'm so proud of you, that I went out bought a computer and stuff just so I could e-mail you back… (You know I have no idea how to work the postal system). Um… Hmmm… My life is good. The movie's going great… Oh and did I mention that I'm going out with my co-star? Her name is Victoria Grahm, Tori for short. Have you heard of her? She's kinda famous, of course not as famous as you… haha I wish you were here to give her a going over, haha… I trust your judgment much more then my manager Jake's.

They've finally decide to give our movie a title; apparently it is going to be called _Detachment. _I have no idea what the hell that means but it sounds fancy! Hmmm. Should I tell you the plot? Well you'd probably kill me if I didn't, but then you're not on this continent… right? Oh well… I'll be nice, basically, I'm this doctor guy, and there's this girl… (Tori) and she's all like mentally screwed up and like… DETACHED whatever that means, from reality, so I go in and try to fix her. So yeah. It comes out in December so you'll be back right?

Anyways, how's the rest of Europe? And you know, what's new with you?

Love,

Joey

* * *

She looked at the letter held in her hand, he was dating someone else? She didn't really know why this thought surprised her so much, of course he'd moved on, hadn't he promised? And didn't he always keep his promises? A voice in the back of her mind said, _but he promised to love you forever, _but she shoved it aside. Well, if he'd moved on, she'd throw herself at the next guy that came along. Damn, Victoria Grahm was beautiful.

* * *

Dear Joey,

OF COURSE I know who Victoria Grahm is, what do you take me for, some kind of idiot? Wait! Don't answer that. Haha, well, I'm happy for you, and I'm sure I would LOVE her. If it means that much to you, I'll send Monica over, I trust her opinion on all the guys I date. Haha. Of course I'll be back by December even if I wasn't supposed to come back, I would throw myself on a plane to make it to your movie. 

Right now, I'm in London. LONDON! Oh my God. I'm so happy. You have no idea. I'll attach a picture for you. Interesting enough, they are mostly having me do photoshoots, and not that many press conferences, not that I can blame them though. But it's fun doing this in Europe instead of at the studio. Um… As for what's new, there is this one guy… he's a model and he's SUPER hot, so… I'll see if I can catch his eye and I'll keep you updated!

Love,

Rachel.

* * *

"I'm breezy." She said, as she clicked 'send.'

He picked through his mail, discarding all the letters for his assistant until he found the one he wanted. As he read it, he couldn't help but feel regret; her excitement for him about Tori was evidence that she had moved on, now falling into the hands of beautiful models. He sighed and then thought, 'well, at least I have Tori now.'

* * *

**December:**

The tour had finished months ago, but she had decided to stay on and continue, mainly because the thrill of being abroad was exciting. That's what she told herself, but deep down, she knew it was a fear of going home, and finding what would await her. But now, home was a necessity, her kid needed her, and she'd been M.I.A. for too long. Besides, she'd promised Joey she'd go to his movie as soon as it opened, and that was a promise she intended to keep. A small smile played on her lips at the thought of him. She decided she would tell him, after all, only then will the regret she carried the past month cease. She'd had her fling with Sam, but in the end, it was only a fling, brought out by the sheer glory of his features, there were no feelings attached at all. She wanted Joey. No. She needed him. And she hoped to heaven that he still needed her.

* * *

"And that's when I realized what a jerk he was."

"Because he called you a waitress?"

"Yeah."

"But you said he was drunk."

"Not exactly that specific moment he was a jerk, but I just realized that I was wasting my time with him."

"Because he was a jerk."

"Exactly!" she smiled and then said, "It's good to see you Joey."

He grinned, "Yeah. I missed ya babe. You've been gone for too long."

"I know. I know. But I was just afraid of…" she paused to pull Emma's finger out of her mouth, silently reprimanding her as she busied herself with her stuffed dinosaurs. "You know, of coming home."

He nodded, "I know Rach. I know."

"Hey, where are we going?"

"Um. I just have to pick up a few things." He said as they walked into a jewelry store.

"Oh. Okay." She said, and then she continued, "But anyways, I knew I had to get home for your movie so…" she stopped as a jeweler brought a tiny ring box out, and opened it to show Joey, then she said, "What?"

"Um… I'm going to ask Tori to marry me."

At that she stumbled out of the store, ignoring his calls of her name.

"Rachel!" he yelled, catching up to her.

"You never told me…"

"I told you I was dating someone."

"Yeah. But you forgot to mention that you were in love with her."

"Well…"

"I guess you are though because you just bought a ring…"

"Um… yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she whined, hitting him.

"Ow. Rachel. I just didn't think… Look why can't you be happy for me?"

She sighed and then her expression softened, "Of course… Of course I can be happy for you Joe." And then she pulled him into a hug, leaving him very confused.

* * *

To give credit where it is due, I stole the story line from definitely maybe…haha.


	11. Wild Honey by U2

Hey people, I came back a day early, so I decided to update, haha, I fly off to L.A. tomorrow, wish me luck, there's been an earthquake! AH!

**GG:** You're probably right about the plot, and I'd like to hear what you think is better, I probably can't change it but it's good for future reference, I'm not very good with plotlines. And okay, I admit, I've never actually heard Handlebars, only my boyfriend's rendition of it, and I found out the only part that he actually did right was the "I can ride a bike with no handlebars." I have tickets to the music festival here, and the Flobots are playing… I'm really only going for the Offspring, so…

**Exintaris:** Damn it, you're right, their letters are totally what **I **would write. Nice catch, thanks.

**friends-girl2008-Rose10-fan:** Okay. I will work on that. And feel free to just let go and rant. Haha, I have thick skin, don't worry about it. And have you switched side? Are you a R and R?

* * *

He sat slumped in his trailer, his hand strangling the bottle of beer that had grown ever present. Vacantly, he brushed it across the edge of his jaw, sanding its sides with his stubble. His pain was a common one; caused by a middle life tragedy: Divorce. The differences their marriage had exposed couldn't be conquered by love, but still, it hurt. Tomorrow he'd be a free man. Somehow that made him sick.

His face soured as his memory reminded him where he would be; tomorrow at the start of his "freedom." Back to New York where his friends could pity him, and lavish the ever common "You'll move on buddy," on him. As if he didn't know. The only problem was, the only way he could see would probably never happen.

A knock on his door signaled the request for his presence, and he obliged, robotically moving to answer it, and then going through the movement's required for the completion of the movie. And then he went home, and sleep over-took him, washing over him so quickly, he was left un-aware.

* * *

**The Next Day:**

He saw Chandler there, waiting, the anxious look on his face giving evidence to the debate plaguing his mind, whether to be sympathetic or to ignore. Ignorance was definitely Joey's preference, but Chandler had other thoughts. Joey watched in horror as the words, "How are you doing bud, do you want to talk about it?" tumbled out of Chandler's mouth. And he winced and prepared himself for speech he would be unable to avoid. He tried to imagine each of them; Monica, softly but firmly, "You have to get through this." 'No kidding,' he thought sarcastically; Ross: He would probably pretend everything was impeccable, and sadly, this is what made him the least uncomfortable. Phoebe would try her methods of aura cleansing and spiritual cures for the broken heart. Rachel: he hadn't told her, and Monica was sworn against telling her. He wanted to surprise her; it was the only thing he was looking forward to.

The years since he told her that he was getting married, they had remained in contact only through letters and email that at the nastiest point of his divorce had been his saving grace, but face to face they hadn't seen each other. That was going to change. 'And maybe more.' His heart hoped, before he shook it away.

* * *

She stirred and woke, wiping the sleep from her eyes, and she turned to stare at the man beside her. She half smiled at his sheer beauty, but what else was to be expected from a model? Yet he loved her, and that is what she loved. She could learn to return that eventually. The damage couldn't last forever.

She got up quietly trying to avoid waking him, but yet again was unsuccessful, he muttered, "Rach?"

"Shh… Go back to sleep." She said smiling.

"Why are you up so early?"

"My mother is coming remember? I have to clean."

He got to his feet saying, "Let me help you."

"It's okay. You don't have to."

"I want to."

She grinned at him, "Okay. Let's clean."

* * *

He was only half listening to Chandler's motivational speech, allowing himself to violently hum the tune of 'The Fool On the Hill.' When he eventually tuned in to what Chandler was saying, he found that it was his name, repeatedly: "Joey. Joey!"

"What? Sorry man."

"You're not yourself."

He managed a half smile "I just went through a divorce Chandler."

"Yeah but… You're not listening to me."

"When have I ever listened to you?"

"Okay. Good point."

He nods in agreement.

"But still, you're really… quiet and foreign."

"Look Chandler! Go through a fucking divorce and talk to all the fucking press, and then come back and tell me how YOU are!"

"Sorry."

Joey knew he should apologize but he was definitely not in the mood to wipe off the hurt puppy look in Chandler's eyes and resume the speech. So he stayed quiet. Finally Chandler broke the silence saying, "Um… You don't mind staying in a hotel do you? I mean Rachel's God knows where, and only talks to us when she comes and picks up Emma, and Phoebe and Mike are re-carpeting their floors…"

"Yeah it's fine, don't worry."

"Okay. Here it is." He said, paying for the cab fare, and ushering Joey inside.

* * *

She reached up and tweaked his nose saying "At least it looks clean." Their eyes both glanced towards the closet where everything un-fitting had been stuffed. That's why every time parental visitation occurred; they'd be thrown into a state of emergency. She wrapped his arms around her and lay there; at last she had moved on. Learned to be happy without him, of course there were the fond memories, but those would fade with time. She'd learn, and in the mean time, she was looking forward to being his friend, even if it was only through mail.

* * *

**That Night:**

"Rachel! I'm worried about you! All of those photograph's they have of you are very un-ladylike!"

"Mother. I… I'm not actually doing anything dangerous."

"Are you sure? Because that one with you on those rings seems very dangerous!"

"I was only a few feet of the ground." She said, doing her best to mask her annoyance."

"But those dresses they have you wear are exquisite. And rather promiscuous." She said giggling as she cut into her chicken, and then she leaned forward and whispered, "Do you think you could get me some?"

"Mom!"

"I'm just kidding darling." She said laughing, "They have you mostly in darks, and everyone knows that lighter tones flatter me more."

Hearing this Rachel takes a large sip of her water, and for the hundredth time in an hour long period, wished that she wasn't a former alcoholic.

"This place is nice!" her mother was exclaiming, "And so exotic, I mean I expect someone famous to show up any moment now!"

At that comment Rachel gasped and spat out the contents of her mouth.

"Oh my goodness, dear what's the matter with you?"

"Oh um… I choked," she said, as Joey walked towards the dining area, deep in conversation with another man.

"Darling you know…" her mother started, and then rest of her babble was lost to Rachel because her mind was occupied with stalking Joey's movements across the restaurant. He hadn't spotted her yet and she tried to hide, shrinking. "Rachel!" her mother's shriek interrupted her efforts, "Mind your posture. A true lady sits upright, no like an animal."

"Sorry mom." She mumbled, as half the restaurant looked at her, including Joey who grinned.

She smiled back a little un-nerved at seeing him in New York, she thought he was in L.A. After such a big divorce she didn't think he would stray. She kept sneaking slight glances back at him, and was pained by what she saw. He'd lost weight, too much, and his hands clutched his wine glass a little too tightly for her comfort. She knew that behavior, the feeling of emptiness without it. He caught her looking at him, and smiled and with a quick nod of his head, indicated for her to go to the bathroom.

She made her excuses with her mom, cutting her off in her one hundredth speech about alimony, and then hurried towards the restroom, joined minutes later by Joey.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, marvel in her voice and in her eyes.

"Oh. Well I'm staying here and I was hungry, so my manager Dan thought…" he said with a spark in his eyes.

She hit him saying, "No silly. I mean here… so suddenly back into my life…" and then she laughed, "I mean here in New York. I didn't think you would after…"

His pleasure in her presence halted for awhile, seeing that even she was walking on egg shells around him, but he said, "Oh. Well, work doesn't wait for you to get over it." He laughed a little painfully, and he could see the pain in her eyes at his words.

"Okay… Well, my mother is in town so why don't you come over after you finish dinner?"

"Okay. Sounds good. I like your mother." He said, raising an eye suggestively.

"Hey!" she said, playfully punching him in arm.

"Okay. Okay!" he said, and then went back to his seat.

"Oh Joey! That's absolutely wonderful!" Sandra Green said to one of his stories.

"Yeah. Haha."

Rachel just watched him, allowing herself the thrill of seeing him smiling and happy. He'd be okay, she knew that now. He smiled at her, and she smiled back as the three of them walked side by side along central park. Suddenly her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. The name on caller ID brought her back to reality; she picked up and said, "Hey honey."

Joey's face paled but neither Rachel nor her mom noticed, as she just continued to interrogate about his work life. But now he only answered with half-hearted gusto.

"Oh my God! Is that really the time? I'm so sorry. We ran into an old friend and we were just catching up… Yeah… Okay… Okay… I'm coming home now. Love you. Bye." And she hung up turning to Joey, "That was…" she hesitated, "um Heath."

Her mother interrupted, stroking Joey's arm, "Oh yes. Her marvelous boyfriend he really is a piece of…"

"Anyways," Rachel cut in, "We should get going," she paused and then half-heartedly offered, "Um… Do you want to meet him?"

"Uh… No… Nah. That's okay. I have an early mourning tomorrow. I should go…"

"Okay." She said softly eyes downcast, "Well I'll see you later then."

He watched her walk away and then ran to the nearest bar.


	12. Misunderstood by Bon Jovi

**Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer may be broken up. I'm kinda sad. I know that's sad but I am.**

* * *

**Present Day:**

He'd stopped talking, but I was so filled with apprehension that I felt the urge to force him to continue. So as politely as I could, I asked him what came next, so he looked through me and slurred, "Well, a few months later, they found Joey in a dump, and forced him into rehab. I guess he just wanted to be where Rachel had been or something. But for awhile, at least it brought her to him."

* * *

She knocked on the door, only a hallway away from where she thought she would never return. But this time her visit was even more tragic. She paused right before his door, unsure if she was prepared for the sight she would behold, but she sternly reminded herself that he'd done the same for her, ignoring the thoughts in her mind saying, _but he wasn't hung up on you. _She lightly tapped, half hoping that he wouldn't hear, or would be asleep, but in her heart knowing that she would die if he was.

"Come in!" came the response which filled her with, simultaneously, relief and regret. But she came in, smiling softly as she walked through the door.

He turned away from her saying gruffly, "Oh. It's you. I thought you were room service."

Her face fell at the harshness of his words. "What?"

"Why are you here?" he asked, his demeanor not changing.

"Um… you were sick. When I was here you came…"

"No. I don't want you here."

"Joey."

"Please leave."

"Joey. I need you!"

"You don't need me."

"They told me you became… co…"

"Yeah. They were right."

"This isn't you… You told me yourself…"

"I was fucking wrong okay!" he yelled at her.

She shrank away, whispering, "You've changed. You were the one person who would never change… and you have…"

"Well that sucks Rachel… But I ain't got a life to live. They should have let me rot."

"Don't say that!"

"Get out!" he said opening the door.

"Joey!"

"Go back to your little boyfriend…"

"Joey… What happened? What triggered it?"

He stopped cold and then slowly said, "None of your business."

"Joey!"

"My divorce!" he yelled at her.

Only this time, she was yelling back, "Don't feed me that shit. You were fine about your divorce. I saw you, you were fine, something changed! I want to know what the hell changed!" she said and then broke down sobbing.

He turned his back once again repeating coldly, enunciating each word slowly, "Please… Please Rachel. You need to leave."

But instead she raised her chin stubbornly and said, "No! I'm not going anywhere. Not until you tell me." And she turned and planted herself on the chair left out for visitors.

"Fine. They'll kick you out after hours."

"Maybe not."

"Definitely so."

"We'll see."

"Fine."

"Fine."

They sat in silence for awhile before Joey broke it, "you really gonna sit there for the whole time?"

"Not if you smile."

"Oh. Then you just keep sitting there."

"We'll see."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know I'm always right."

"That's Monica."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Damn. That would have helped me out a bit."

He felt the sides of his lips twitching and fought the urge to smile, barely winning the battle.

"You're not gonna last the whole night."

She turned to face him with a smirk on her face and said, "Watch me." Which cued them into a staring contest that ended in Joey looking away, trying to hide a smile, but she noticed.

"You smiled!"

His face turned serious again, "No!"

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes."

"Okay. I did."

She only sat there smiling at her accomplishment, which lead him to say, "Come on Rach, don't flaunt it. You just got it, I mean, it was really everyone else…"

She only interrupted, "I know you better then them… I knew it. They told me and I didn't believe."

He smiled hesitantly, finally giving in to the urge and said, "Well I guess then YOU were right.

They spent the whole night laughing, the nurses walking by not having the heart to kick her out.


	13. Cocaine by JJ Cale

GG: I'm sorry if this isn't making sense

**GG: **I'm sorry if this isn't making sense… I don't really know what to say to that… Did you read the chapter before the last?

**Exintaris****: **Isn't it? Haha. Yeah. It's been awhile. Thank you for the compliment at the end. 

She awoke slumped uncomfortably in the chair she'd occupied the night before. The unfamiliar surroundings terrified her at first, and it took awhile for the sleepiness to unclog her mind. But once it did, she smiled happily at the memory. She opened her eyes and turned to examine his face, she smiled at the curved ends of his lips that had pulled themselves upwards for so much of last night, that even in his sleep he could not pull them down.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a buzzing, and turned to examine where it came from. When her eyes landed on her cell phone, it took a moment of glaring in order to register what the noise meant. And after that moment, she panicked. Lettered across her caller I.D. screen was HEATH, and when the buzzing stopped, it showed 22 missed calls. She rushed to pick it up before the buzzing started again and waited. Soon she could feel the vibrations in her hand again, and this time, she pressed talk.

"Hello?" She said, and seeing Joey stirring, she moved quietly into the bathroom.

"Hey! Where were you? You told me you'd call me after you landed."

"Oh shit. Sorry, my phone ran out of batteries." She lied.

"Oh. Okay. Well ignore my other calls then."

"What?" She faked innocence.

"I just called you a couple times before this."

"I'm so sorry Heath! I was talking to Joey, I totally forgot!" Wrong thing to say.

"You forgot about me because you were talking to your ex-boyfriend?"

"No! Wait what?"

"You heard me!"

"How did you know that Joey was…"

"Your ex?"

"Yeah…" she said meekly.

"Your mother told me."

"What? When?"

"A while ago."

"I never told you."

"Yeah."

"Huh."

"Why didn't you tell me!"

"Because! Because it's a painful subject okay?"

"Yeah? Well Rachel, you can't have it this way. Fuck!"

"What?" but she heard him scrambling to pick up the phone, so she knew he dropped it. "Oh."

He finally picked it up and yelled into the receiver, "We are over!"

"Wait Heath!" she cried, but he'd already hung up.

She sat on the toilet with her face in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably.

Joey awoke, euphoria shooting through him, remembering how he'd been dragged out of his rut last night, and had been returned to his smiling normalcy. But his mood soon soured when he realized that Rachel was no longer in the room, and he could hear sobs coming from the bathroom.

He got out of his bed and tip toed his way to the bathroom door, and further opened the crack that was already in place. He found her, her hands burying her face and her body flung limply across the floor. He went to her and picked her up and cradled her, without speaking, just muttering 'everything's gonna be alright,' repeatedly. He figured that whatever trouble, whatever tragedy… she'd tell him in her own time. He understood that.

She didn't offer any explanation either; she only fell into his embrace. She'd seen this coming. Ever since Joey went into rehab, she had been distant and bitter: he didn't deserve that. But yet, it still stung, it still broke her heart. Especially knowing that she was all alone. Again.


	14. Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix

I'm sorry if this sucks… I'm bad at romance and this plot had me stuck!

* * *

**Continued from last chapter…**

"I may have just gotten dumped…" she finally said, pulling back from his embrace.

"Oh." Was his only reply.

But instead of breaking down and weeping, she started laughing, repeating, "I just got dumped!"

"Great?" He questioned.

"No. Not great. But… I just got dumped." She said yet again, but this time, seriously.

"Rach... I think we got that."

"Yeah?" she squeaked.

"Yeah." he confirmed

"Huh." She started... "Joey?"

"Yeah."

"What's the matter with me?" she questioned, as she took a piece of hair and twisted it around her finger.

"What?" He asked surprised, "Nothing's the matter with you!"

"No. There's something wrong with me…" she said, while thinking, 'well duh. I'm hung up on this guy here.'

"Hey!" he said, taking her by the hands, she shivered, noticing how cold they were on hers, "Hey… There is nothing, nothing on this body that is even flawed. Okay? What's his face? He's a bastard, and a damn fool."

"That's like the classic break-up pep talk."

"He doesn't deserve you Rach."

She scoffed, "Then who does?"

He turned serious, raising his eyes to look into hers, but he opened his mouth, and nothing came out. When he didn't say anything, she turned away, and stood up saying, "I think I'm gonna go find myself a hotel Joe. You gonna be okay here?"

He cleared his throat, and said, "Yeah."

She turned towards him and smiled before heading for the door, "Okay then."

"Rach wait!" He called after her retreating figure.

She turned, finding him closer then she anticipated, a little surprised, she stepped back, "Wha… What?"

"Rachel… I'm happy."

Confusion spread across her features as she said, "Um… That's nice… I'm... happy for you?"

"No… I'm happy here. Now. With you." He said, a smile playing on his lips.

"Joey…"

"You said you wanted to see me smile, remember? A long long time ago, back when I used to be happy, you said all you wanted was to see me smile."

"Joey…"

"You're the one that makes me smile." He grinned.

She smiled at him, "I'm glad to hear that."

"Rachel…"

"Yeah."

"I love you."

She froze, "What?"

"I love you. Pure and simple. Same as it's always been, same as it always will be." When she didn't move, he leaned in to kiss her mouth, but just as they touched, she pulled away:

"Joey…" she said, backing away.

"Rachel!" he cried pitifully.

"I can't do this right now…" she said, shaking her head.

"Rach."

"I can't… I can't…"

"What are you talking about?"

"I… this is not… I ca... NO!"

"I love you." He repeated confused.

"I know. I know you do… I just…" she said, as her head clouded, "I don't…"

"Rachel! Please!" he begged.

"I don't know… I can't do this right now…"

He looked at her through sad eyes and said, "Go… Leave…" And she scrambled away.

* * *

It's funny how just as life gives you everything you always wanted, you suddenly black out, and before you know it, you've taken it away. Years after, she would still look back and wonder, what was her hesitation? She'd told herself, it was too soon. Too soon after a break-up but what excuse is that? In the end it was cowardice. He was there, he bore his heart on his sleeve and she couldn't bring herself to break the masquerade she'd played all those years apart from him. It was comfortable, and comfort was appealing. She'd built up armor so strong, that in the end, she couldn't even get it off her. That was just sad.

She was in checkmate. And now it was her move. The only problem being… It had been two weeks, two weeks of waiting by the phone, willing him to call, and knowing that he wouldn't. That was her fault.

He was probably out of rehab by now, and living in his beautiful mansion. She imagined him there, all alone, all by himself and that sight broke her heart alone.

The telephone rang. She stared towards the direction of the noise until it registered in her mind. Slowly she reached to pick it up, refreshing herself on the correct procedure to follow. After pausing for awhile, she finally was enlightened; first step, "Hello?"

"Rachel?"

In her mind she freaked out, no one had this number. "Who is this?"

"It's Monica."

"Oh." she said blankly.

"Come home."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I can't. Not yet."

"Why!" she heard Monica cry.

"He said he loves me."

"Oh." she heard her draw in a breath, prepared for good news, and bad.

"I blew him off."

"WHAT? WHY?"

"I don't know."

"You're an idiot!"

"No shit."

"Look. You got to fix this, okay, and then come home, because Emma misses you like hell, and Ross is getting pissed off at everything that's alive right now."

"Why?"

"He just… Get's this way when you're gone for too long…"Monica said, hesitatingly.

Indignantly Rachel replied, "Tell him to deal!"

Gently but firmly, Monica urged, "Honey… You have a daughter. She's your first priority. Work it out with Joey… And then come home."

"You're right… I need to talk to Joey."

"Good. And do it soon. I can tell you're going crazy." And then she hung up.

'Fuck.' Rachel thought to herself, 'I am going crazy.'


	15. Straight From the Heart by Bryan Adams

AHHHH! I'm losing readers! Haha if there are any new ones please review

* * *

Caution was not only thrown to the wind, it was completely destroyed at this point. Car horns honked a storm at her passing, but she ignored them, demoting her mind to a cave-person's mentality; "Must find Joey!"

She navigated the twists and turns that led to his house, and pulled up his driveway. His door was open and she didn't stop to wonder why, she flew out of her car and stormed into his house, all the while yelling, "Joey!"

She stomped through the house until she suddenly collided with a woman wearing a blue pant suit. As she fell on the floor, the only words that she could force out of her mouth were, "Joey?"

The lady peered down at her through thick rimed glasses and asked, "May I help you?" Standing behind her, and cowering, was a couple who were probably famous, but Rachel didn't care at that point. She just sat up and rubbed her head muttering, "You're not Joey."

"Rachel?" came from the man.

Confused and dazed she answered, "Yeah?"

"What are you doing here?"

"What are you?" she shot back.

He scoffed and said, "You don't know who I am?"

"No…"

The lady she'd run into earlier leaned down and whispered, "That's Josh Harnett (or someone else famous)."

"Oh…" she said, still dazed, and then suddenly, "OH!"

He smiled at her and laughed, "now you remember?"

"Honey?" the woman on his arm suddenly spoke, "How do you know her?"

"You don't recognize her?" The woman shook her head, "She's a model I worked with a while back."

"Oh! The Ralph Lauren chick!" Then her face turned angry, "Wait… didn't you two have a thin…"

"Jess, honey!" he said quickly, "Don't believe everything you read." But he gave Rachel a slight wink.

Rachel smiled weakly at them, inwardly wincing, thinking, 'exactly what have I done… or who… when I was drunk?'

"What are you doing here? At Joey's?" came out of her mouth.

"Oh!" he said with sudden animation, "Well I'm thinking of buying this place. It's a bit bigger then my old one… and I can afford it with my _Pearl Harbor _royalties and stuff…" he rambled, but she wasn't hearing any of it, she only thought, 'Joey's selling the place?' It confused her.

"Anyways…" he concluded, "I should ask you the same."

"Um…" she stammered, "I need to talk to Joey."

"Oh. You know him?"

She paused and then said, "I used to." And then she added, "I used to know him real well."

* * *

Joey toweled himself dry and then lept out of the pool. There was some sort of commotion going on inside of his house but he figured the real estate agent would get a handle on it. So he only stayed outside and sat by the pool. He'd put head-phones into his ears and had proceeded to pump U2 into his brain, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped up and gasped and then gasped again as he was the sight in front of him. There she stood, the sun-light shining onto her face and rays playing off of the highlights in her hair. She looked frightened, probably by his out-burst and nervous.

He opened his mouth to speak, but was at a loss for words. Similarly, she found herself incapable of speech, and chewed her lip, looking away. Finally he spoke, "Rach… What are you doing here?" which made her head snap back in his direction.

Slowly a soft string of babble came out of her mouth, "I… I… We… Us… I think…"

He looked at her confused as she struggled to formulate a sentence. Finally, she got out, "I was wrong."

He paused, smiled and looked behind him and said, "Eh?"

She began again… this time talking her way around the subject, "I was never good at school Joe."

"Um… That's nice?"

"I was always good with the guys."

He gulped but remained silent.

"I understood them… you know? The way you understand girls."

"I don't..."

She only looked at him and then continued, "I don't understand you."

"I'm not that hard to understand."

She smiled up at him, "You're harder to understand then you think."

"Okay… I'm also not that bright so you're gonna have to explain this all to me."

"I panicked Joe! That's what I'm trying to say. I have no idea how anyone could love me so fucking much, and I kept thinking how I'd done this to you and ruined your life and I… I panicked."

"You weren't the reason…"

"Oh come on Joey. I know it was me. Just like how it was you who sent me there. And I thought… 'If we could do that much damage apart…'"

"Then we can do great things together Rachel!" he interrupted.

She smiled up at him. "I know that now."

"Good." He replied, and then he whispered, "I knew you would come back to me."

"You told me to move on."

"Did you really believe that letter?"

She paused and then smiled as tears started to fall, "Not really."

"Hey. Don't cry."

"I can't help it!"

"Hm…" he said. And then he picked her up and kissed her mouth, before throwing her into the pool, clothes and all.

The sun set that night on Joey and Rachel, who finally found their happy ending.


End file.
